In the Gray

Don’t you wish life could be like a black and white photo? Clear, precise lines with well-defined spaces…details beautifully outlined creating a memorable imprint of our memory.  We may have of moments in our life of pure clarity but most of the time it is muddled in various shades of gray.

Why is it that confidence comes so easy to some and not to others?  Do they really have it or are they just really great at making us all believe that they do?  I am on a confidence journey now.  I couldn’t go back and tell you when the little girl who thought she was a princess lost her crown.  I guess it doesn’t really matter what the cause was.  All that matters is that I find a way back.

I always thought fashion and beauty was a shallow thing…it was supposed to be something easy to make money until I got a “real” job.  The longer I stayed in the industry though, the more I realized the psychological effect that clothing and makeup can have on a person.

I met this one woman awhile back.  She was dark-skinned, tall, dressed in old faded denim and a man’s button down shirt…her dreads were pulled back in a bandana. She looked completely out-of-place in our store, like she was looking for something but didn’t know what it was.  I tried talking to her, but she was so shy all she could tell me was that she wanted a long skirt.  Meanwhile, I discovered her husband was speaking to my co-worker. He said something along the lines of “Can you help her? She has never had anything pretty. Even when we got married, it was in jeans and a t-shirt.”  We jumped into action styling her in long skirts with pretty, flowy tops.  With every outfit she would come out of the dressing room wearing, her timid walk turned into a confident stride. Her husband watched her like she was the most exquisite creature he’d ever lay eyes on. He complimented how beautiful she looked and that he was going to buy her everything. We never did get her to talk much, but watching how the way she looked at herself changed, was somewhat of an epiphany to me.  What I do for a living really does matter.

portrait of bandw dress (2)


Fashion is a tool that gives you the ability to either express yourself or to become someone totally new.   Some days I am bubbly and cheerful and others I feel a little bit darker and sad.  I can either outwardly express who I am that day, or use it to change how I am feeling.  Either way, it translates to confidence… Who am I today and am I confident in who I am today?

Most of the time my answer is no.  If you’re like me, finding your confidence is a constant daily battle.  I find myself wallowing in the gray, trying to sort through the different shades to find a clear definition of who I am and where I am heading. Some days I fail miserably and other days the girl in the mirror can get a grip on herself and conquer the world.

“Being glamorous is about strength and confidence. it’s black and white-dramatic. You have to be strong.” ~Catherine Zeta-Jones

This quote is inspirational to me.  #goals.  I am not always strong…but someday I will be…until then I will journey through the gray until I get to the black and white.

another original bandw dress (2)


Dress is a past season black and white, fit and flare dress from NY & Company.  I love it because it reminds me of some current Calvin Klein styles but the material is a lot thinner and lighter. A dress in a classic silhouette never goes out of style.  



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